Confessions & Gratitudes: I never knew I needed to say to Myself

(Note: Our Confessions & Gratitudes section was started in August 2020, but new entries continue to be added here with no further new dates posted to keep even the dates anonymous as well). 

“Take A Look & See What’s New.”

Many people experience a sense of freedom when they share a confession they have been carrying, they describe the experience as if a weight has been lifted off their shoulders when they confess something that’s been on their mind for a long time. 

Below our team will continue to post additional anonymous Club House Confessions as well as Gratitudes on this page.

“All Confessions are Odysseys”                               
 – Raymond Queneau

We have posted our Lookability Club House Confessions Disclaimer here as well:

 All confessions and statements of gratitude are shared anonymously by our Lookability Club Team members to capture a look at social interactions before and after Social Distancing became part of our life. Any resemblance to real people dead or alive, past or present is purely coincidental.  This is also mentioned in our Privacy Policy. To read our entire Privacy Policy, please click the Yellow Privacy Policy Button at the bottom of our homepage.

 

Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.  If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.
– Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

MY CONFESSION: I just have to confess when you fired me you inspired me. You made me go from “Fired to Inspired” the way I imagine Emmy Winning Talk Show Host, Tamron Hall got inspired when I heard she experienced being fired in her own life. You tried to break me but you made me stronger. I have become even more of a fighter in life.  This gives me new meaning and inspiration for the empowerment of women in inclusive spaces, diverse workplaces, and transformational spaces. Plus the petty office clique culture you perpetuated, only inspires me even more to focus on more important goals like advocating for the rights of other people like differently-abled individuals. 

My GRATITUDE: So grateful for being fired. Thank you for firing me because there is a bigger purpose for my skills and my talents that goes beyond your small, petty issues with me. 

MY CONFESSION:  I just could not stop myself from eating almost half of the chocolate cake you said you had left in the refrigerator to share at the staff meeting. I will never forget that look of shock on your face when you saw the cake and you were about to put it on the table for the staff. There is not much more I can say other than food gives me comfort. When I leave to go home from work I cannot wait to watch the #Foodnetwork.

MY CONFESSION To You: I can’t believe you did what you did!

My GRATITUDE: I am so grateful to have understanding friends like you who accept me for who I really am.

MY CONFESSION:  I never knew you could dance on your prosthetic leg.

When we were friends back in school. I really wanted to invite you to that dance and even wanted to invite you to the Prom but I wasn’t sure if you could dance on your legs with your prosthetic leg. It was stupid of me not to take the time to ask – not to ask you to the dance, not to ask you to the Prom, and not even to ask if you would be okay dancing on your leg. I ended up asking someone else to be my date and now I only wish I could go back in time and change how I handled my friendship with you. If you ever forgive me for my stupidity, I would dance anywhere in life with you from the beach bar to the dance floor or anywhere you lead. 
-Anonymous

#RunwayofDreams
#DancingWithTheStars,
#DWTS

My GRATITUDE: I am so grateful to have a few good friends in life even if I can only count my trusted friends on one hand. 
-Anonymous

MY CONFESSION:  Life Got So Real When You Died!

I never knew how bad it would hurt when you died.

I would hear other people talk about how they lost their loved one but when it hits home it hits hard. A loss is a loss no matter how. The list could go on from a medical emergency or illness to Cancer or a drunk driver, a car accident, a drive-by shooting, or a mass shooting to tornadoes, earthquakes, and other acts of nature or acts of war against innocent people but when it comes down to losing your own loved one, life got so real for me. I know I felt real love with you but once you were gone, life got so real and I knew things would never be the same again.  I experienced a feeling of finality first-hand and the full realization that I will never speak to you face to face or over the phone ever again. The reality of your loss hits me hard like a ton of bricks. It hits me even more during the Thanksgiving and Holiday Season and New Year Season. It’s supposed to be a the Season of Joy but it is bitter- sweet when I see other people celebrating  Hanukkah, Christmas, Diwali, Kwanzaa and the New Year and you are no longer by my side. 

-Anonymous

My GRATITUDE:

I am so thankful that I can feel it inside my heart that you would not want me to be sad now that you are gone. I am thankful for the love you gave me and the love you shared with me when you were alive because I get to carry your love in my heart forever.

Anonymous

MY CONFESSION:  A New Year’s Resolution

I never knew that you did not believe in the word Team in Teamwork.

I want to make this my New Year’s Resolution to become a better person, a better friend and a better team member than you because there really is a reason that they say that there is no “i” in the word team. Somehow for you, everything is clearly about what you want for yourself and not what’s best for the team. I think the word team exists in so many different ways like family, sports, clubs and workplaces, marriages and more but all you have done is shown that this word does not exist for you by the way you have even been willing to make others around you look bad for the sole purpose of  making yourself look good or to simply get what you want.

My GRATITUDE:

Thankful for Kind People

I am grateful for all the people who still show kindness to others in the world. There are so many people who continue to do kind deeds helping others in various ways whether it is through charities like Toys for Tots or other organizations that help people who are in need. It is so nice to see kindness is still going strong.

MY CONFESSION:

I never understood how you can say you sleep like a baby at night after what you did

 The term alternative facts- is what some people like to use. I never understood how you are capable of saying you sleep like a baby at night after all your attempts to discredit someone like me who is so dedicated to my work. How do you look at life and your fellow man? Are you looking at some form of alternative facts for your own selfish motives? If I could travel back in time I would tell you there are more important things in the world than bickering or targeting others anywhere  and let’s learn to get along together,    I would also say, I  think it’s best we all learn to be more selfless like the Frontline Heroes in the Battle of Covid-19  so that the world will  be a better place, despite the sadness that so many of us are experiencing every time we lose a loved one to the Battle of Covid-19 or some other illness.   – Anonymous

MY GRATITUDE:

Thankful For What I Still Have

“I look out at the world and stretch my arms up and I’m so thankful for such a beautiful world. It makes me thinks of all the good things I still have in my life and not at what you have taken from me who or what I have lost.”   -Anonymous

MY CONFESSION

 I never knew I would be at a lost for words about your looks 

“I never knew I would be at a lost for words about your looks when I saw someone with a facial deformity in the store in my neighborhood at a time when life was still normal before we all started wearing masks due to Covid-19. I did not mean to stare at you that day that way and look the other way. The truth is I never heard of Franceschetti–Klein Syndrome until I watched the movie “Wonder” and then I began to educate myself on this condition.  I realize now that you are an inspiration to all  of us  just the way you look. I hope you will be included and not excluded from anything you want to do in life. and I hope you will accept my apology for misunderstanding beauty is more than skin deep.

-Anonymous

MY GRATITUDE: 

Thank You for What You Do For All of Us

Thank you for what you do for all of us. We see you. Yes, all of you from the doctors and nurses and EMTs and  volunteers  and Take out Food workers & Delivery workers and Humanitarian Food Pantry workers , janitors, Environmental workers cleaning Hospitals & Sanitation workers cleaning everywhere and all the Frontline workers and all the essential workers who are just  too  many to mention. We all celebrate you with Hashtags made especially for you.  Do your best not to become depressed with so much death, if you do please don’t be afraid to talk to someone you trust and get help. You mean so much more than words can truly capture  #AliciaKeys #GoodJobCNNHeroes

-Anonymous

MY CONFESSION:

I Never Understood Why

I never understood why you made me feel like I was never enough or never good enough. It made me look at myself differently, negatively and even second guess myself everything about myself even my looks.  But now I  realize  it doesn’t matter anymore as long as I now know that I am enough and I am beginning to look at myself like I am enough. In fact, I know I have always been enough, I just didn’t see it before because you were in my way and you were blocking my view.

-Anonymous

 MY GRATITUDE:

I’m Thankful for the Lessons Learned in Hard Times

• I’m thankful for the lessons learned in hard times even though I have had hard times dealing with loss. For some people it’s losing a loved one. So, I know my loss doesn’t compare to all those who lost loved ones to Covid-19 but still the loss of a job or a career is still a loss that’s real and it’s felt by me and my whole family.  
•  It feels like I lost my livelihood, and it hurts so badly because you decided to let me go long before there was even a Covid-19 financial crisis that even caused the worst job losses we have seen. In fact, I was shocked you never even let me finish packing up all my belongings from my desk. This only makes you seem worse than a Scrooge.                                                                                                                                                                                                                      But it made me feel like I was nothing. Somehow you felt that you deserved your job, but you didn’t think I deserved mine. Bet you never gave my job loss a second thought. Did you know I ended up doing side-hustle jobs for years to survive while my partner worked overtime at least 2 jobs for our family to survive.
• It was only when I saw people like Talk Show host Tamron Hall (that’s right #Tamron Hall) bounce back from a job loss on her new Talk Show that I felt I could bounce back too.  And now from the looks of things Covid has caused the biggest job losses in history but people are bouncing back too. No one ever said it would be easy; seems a whole lot of people will have to figure out how to bounce back.  One thing is certain, we’re all in this together and those who can give each other a supporting hand should not think twice to help others where they can even if it is as simple as supporting positive people or causes on social media as a follower.  I can’t help but remain thankful for food every day because as we saw during the worst of the pandemic there were so many people in America including me who were lined up for miles waiting in their cars for food to feed their families every day. But it was so nice to see so many people step forward to help from everyday heroes to celebrities- #Alicia Keys, #Dolly Parton, #Oprah Winfrey, #Bruce Springsteen, #Taylor Swift and so many more who always show how much they care about the fact that we are all in this together. 

 -Anonymous 

 MY CONFESSION:

I don’t Know Why You Felt You Had to Teach me a Lesson 

• I don’t know why you felt you had to teach me a lesson. My learning a lesson on my own is a big difference than your self-righteous attitude that you needed to teach me a lesson. The last I checked no one in authority ever appointed you to be my teacher.  I think the word teacher is associated with words like Preacher, Rabbi or Jesus.  Not many people get the honor of being called a true “Teacher.” 
• I noticed how powerful you seemed like a Hollywood Star with the people from your clique by your side like loyal fans, always having your back while I was all alone with only the support of my family and only a friend or two I can count on one hand. Sometimes I question why this fight even started between us- did I disrespect you or insult you in any way? If I did then couldn’t we have worked this out like reasonable people.  It all seems so petty now that the world is fighting an even bigger fight against Covid-19.  
• Well, I know you will most likely look to justify yourself, but I plan to look forward to people who truly value the ethics of pedagogy and mentorship and those who are really teachers in the world like those who truly take time to mentor and teach youth. I also will always look towards the stories of selfless Frontline Heroes who helped us to begin to conquer the Battle of Covid-19. Honestly, now that I look at life, I think I realize now that the only lesson I learned from you is a lesson in forgiveness- to learn to forgive you for how you treated me and to learn to forgive you so I can release all the negative energy associated with unforgiveness. I know that unforgiveness only leads to sickness in our mind and body and so I choose to forgive for my own health and wellness so that I can live a positive, healthy life.

  -Anonymous 

 MY GRATITUDE:

I’m Thankful for the Positive Things in the Chaos

• I’m thankful for the positive things in the chaos of life especially after Covid-19. In fact, I think people who don’t see the positives in others need to focus on things to be thankful for, yes especially after Covid-19, everyone needs to focus on self-care and self-improvement. People who meddle in other people’s lives with negative remarks need to meddle in their own life instead.  They really need to focus on their own issues in life & their own looks instead of telling other people negative things. 
• I remember when you gave me a “Bye Felicia – Attitude”but  I gave you friendship that you never valued after all. And, of course like so many, I asked, -Why, but I know that my Why’s will never be answered. There is no reason that could explain hate when kindness is always the better choice.
• But even in my expression of gratitude, I’m compelled to ask Why anyway.    
  
  Why?  why did you spend time trying to make people like me feel bad about the way I was born to be and the way I was born to look?
  
  Why?  why was your negative attitude towards me so contagious?  It was like one word from you and everyone was on your side like the bullies we have all encountered at some point in our life at work at school or anywhere.

Wow!  This kind of power that you seem to wield is dangerous. Because it is people like you who get away with abusing people in workplaces or worst you may even lead other people to follow you to abuse others behind closed doors. And it is people like you who lead students to bully other students or perhaps engage in cyber-bullying against innocent kids. 

Let’s bury our differences and let’s just be kind for kindness’ sake. and truly be in this together so that we can truly learn valuable lessons from the impact of Covid.  I know I am grateful for the wisdom I have gained from knowing people who wield power like you. Now, all I can say is I am so thankful that I have the ability to spread kindness to others and see all those in the world who demonstrate the spirit of togetherness & kindness in the midst of the Covid Pandemic and into the future and beyond.

You may look popular or even be popular, but a very kind person once told me a saying, every dog has its day and that it’s better to be kind so looks don’t really matter if you don’t know how to be a kind person.

The lesson I learned is for all of us to do better self-reflection & better self-care. What’s the point of being a beauty on the outside if you are not beautiful on the inside. Now I look in the mirror and I know that there is nothing wrong with me or my looks because I am supposed to be the only one who looks exactly like me. I know that I am beautiful inside and outside.   

 

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