Why Disabled People & Middle Aged Women Are Being Left Behind Unemployed & How I Chose Not To Sleep With My Boss But Rise Above The Silent Shame

IS IT A SILENT SHAME?

               By Lookability Club Lifestyle Coach

There’s a  saying, “don’t wash your dirty linen in public”.   This makes me think whether this relates to all the times we look the other way and do our best to survive. Is it simply human nature for so many of us to pick up our cell phones and look the other way as long as another person’s problem does not happen to us?

They also say never judge a book by it’s cover and so many of us who are busy working in the job market may never take a moment to stop to think about how talented the person who did not get the job might really be or how many women pass a certain age are left unemployed let alone consider how many people with disabilities are overlooked and unemployed.

Just today,  the TV News channels and many other news outlets online reported that a London-based Mom who is a popular influencer on Instagram wrote an article about “Why Are So Many Middle Aged Women Struggling to Find Employment” and this topic went viral because clearly so many of us can identify with this plight.

I think of my disabled friends. If it’s bad enough for older non-disabled Moms and middle-aged women to find jobs, imagine what it’s like for people with disabilities no matter how fabulous they present themselves to the world in different industries.

LOOK AT MY ABILITY TO RUNWAY & HIRE ME!

In the U.S. alone, the unemployment rate for individuals with disabilities is approximately 8.6% and rising. This is over double the approximate 4.2 % rate of unemployment for people without disabilities. And when you look at the big picture, statistics show that only about 24% of disabled individuals even participate in the labor force as compared to 67% of non-disabled individuals.

Let’s compare this to middle-aged women without disabilities.  When it comes to women non-disabled women 55 and older, the unemployment rate is approximately 2.7%  to 3.1% in the United States but you can only imagine what this rate would be when you include other countries like London, Spain or Argentina or any other countries that we saw competing at the World Cup. Research shows that women over 50 years and older are disproportionately impacted by unemployment on a long-term basis facing obstacles like age discrimination in hiring practices and longer job searches than ever.  These long-term job searches may span anywhere from a couple years to even several years.

Are we simply now living in a world where we are even treating our Middle-aged Moms who once were celebrated at a younger age every time they gave birth to a new born baby in a Hospital as if they have an expiration date where employers and society somehow believe that they are no longer hirable, valuable or useful to any workplace?

The harsh reality and brutal statistics may even make some of us question whether nepotism is rampant where we find ourselves beginning to question whether companies, organizations, colleges or clinics are only hiring their family members or friends.

Only those of us who truly experience what it feels like to be left behind jobless can truly identify with the wide range of complex emotions we may feel. I have walked in these shoes.

I know the feeling of shock, the anxiety over your depleting finances in the midst of more and more bills arriving at your door, the sense of sadness and loss of my identity, the sense of annoyance at others who are so self-absorbed in their high-paying jobs that they don’t even appear to know that so many people exist who remain jobless and there are also  the emotions of disappointment and anger at the whole situation, the feelings of worthlessness and even hopelessness as the job search progresses.

Is this a silent shame that so many of us in the same shoes experience when we are left jobless and come to the conclusion that others view us as unimportant and even useless.

Here’s how I rise above being overlooked for any career, I meditate on anything positive. For example, I will read one of my favorite poems ” Still I Rise”  by Maya Angelou. In fact one of my favorite lines is, “But still, like dust, I’ll rise.”

I remind myself that I do not have to keep living with the sense of silent shame as if I am wearing a Scarlet Letter branded on my skin like a tattoo that makes me feel like if I woke up the night after and realized that I ended up sleeping with my boss or a senior team member to keep my career or to advance my career, although I have no judgement to those that choose a different path than me. 

I remind myself that I would rather be jobless than have to compromise my ethics and morals to be hired or to keep my job. When I look at the Music industry, I consider how there are big Music Executives or Music Artists that many of us have idolized in the past who have given lots of people jobs who have been convicted of serious crimes who are now sitting in jail for the mistreatment of women and other employees.

“Plus I consider statistical reports that estimate that 15% of executive women admit to having affairs with superiors and that an estimated 37% of executive women believe that female colleagues engage in affairs with superiors in order to receive career  boosts, incentives or promotions. Comparatively other surveys on workplace trends conducted by Zety on office relationships reveal that 27% of women compared to 28% of men report sleeping with a boss.“

I tell myself that despite the fact that many of us do have a very good sense of work ethic and get our jobs based on our amazing talents that I did not get a job through practices like nepotism or office politics or by sleeping my way up the corporate ladder. I tell myself that I am talented enough to become a Self-made Entrepreneur Mom and support other successful women as well as successful people with disabilities because I think it’s awesome to see those who are considered to be underdogs succeed. And of course, I do my best to stick to a Fitness & Wellness routine by getting close to 30 minutes of rigorous exercise 5 times per week or as close to this schedule as possible to be at my best.

This reminds me that I have nothing to be ashamed of. 

Most of all, I tell myself it is not my fault that I am jobless in life and it’s really the loss of all the employers’ who overlooked me that lost the opportunity to have a wonderful employee like me.  Plus I  continue to pamper myself and continue to  celebrate myself for exactly who I was born to be. Whether you represent people with disabilities or Middle-aged Moms even if others forget how valuable you are, find special ways to remind yourself everyday who you are. We need to discover our beauty inside and out and don’t pay attention to anything else or anyone else who tries to devalue you or bring you down.

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